On this day I see clearly, everything has come to life
– Metalingus, Alter Bridge
On this day it’s so real to me, everything has come to life
I was thinking about how I go about this. I had those first three words in mind. And then, of course, this song started playing in my mind and I had to share it. Anyway, on this day, 3 years ago, I started this page. Well, not exactly.
The only thing that’s still the same, is the URL. (And maybe some of my vices :P). So, a good year on WordPress. And then patchy one on Medium – https://iknowntg.medium.com/ before I gave it up and revamped it as a blog about films. Back when it originally started, I was writing about mental health and philosophy and all the peak stoic stuff that was the rage during lockdown. Not to mention the release and story behind the #SnyderCut. I meant every word I’d written then.
Why stop then?
What’s that saying now? Ah, Practice what you preach. Yeah, so I was not doing that. No one is going to believe this or accept it, but I hit rock bottom. Whew, it was not a pretty sight, but you can’t grow without getting knocked down a couple of times.
Why start again?
I do not know. When I started this year, I had only one thing in mind. Take control, and hold myself accountable. But guess what, all my plans were bust. I have hardly done four things I wanted to do this year. Because it went better than I could have imagined. From peak to peak to peak, I started thinking how much higher am I gonna get.
Not a lot of people will have the Northern Lights dance across the skies and call something else the best thing they’ve done in a year :D. I did write a poem about Lady Aurora though!
But it’s not all highs. I lost my grandma. But it still does not feel real unless I explicitly state it. I forget that she’s gone. It’s like she’s still with us. And then someone came into my life. Gave me a few songs, and then left without a trace. Passing clouds I guess.
Back to the title though
Once you’ve seen the highs and get knocked down, can you get back on top? Do you have the tenacity to keep going to reach somewhere where you’ve already been? I know some people are crazy enough to trade it all way, just to start the struggle again. I might be one of them xD.
Imagine this – you’ve toiled all your life and made it to the pinnacle. Now in a moment of weakness, or rather accident, you lose it all. You need to start from ground zero. You know you can get back to the top. But do you have it in you, to grind again, to reach the same peak? Or would you rather call it a day and settle for something decent?
There’s no shame in the alternative. But with that question in mind, I claim the second time’s harder.
Shoutout to #RP17 for doing the first. Not a fan. But massive respect.
The site’s all rusty. I’ll have to build this back from the start as well. But I wanted to get this post out there tonight.
Will I continue writing here? I sure hope so. 😉
